Lexie Lynn

It is with an incredibly broken heart that I write today's post. I received word last night that a young woman whom I was honored to be adopted by committed suicide at the tender age of 22. She leaves behind a devastated family, including the most beautiful 5 year old daughter this planet has ever seen.

Our story began 6 years ago when she was just 16 and we were both pregnant, her with her first, me with my third. We met in an ivillage chat room for expectant mommies and we quickly became friends. At one point, she was homeless and yet, she still managed to not only graduate high school, but she took that daughter of hers and went to college where they thrived. This past june, i experienced the absolute best day of my life when my baby girl, my adopted daughter, graduated college. In a million years, it never occured to me that i would loose her just 6 short months later.

Lexie suffered from depression. If you didn't know her well, you never would've guessed it. She was an expert at hiding it. There's a stigma about depression that i don't understand. People are blaming her and if i hear the phrase "what a waste" one more freaking time, i'm going to explode. there is no waste here..there are lessons to be learned in her life and more lessons to be had in her passing.Lexie was hurting bad. I know my baby girl..she NEVER would've done it if she had thought there was another way out. in her mind, there was NO other way out. she did what she felt was right in order to end her suffering and protect her precious daughter.

She lived her life as a hippie, in the best possible meaning of the word. She truly believed she could change the world and whether it was thru fighting for gay rights or another cause that she believed in, she was stubborn enough that she was going to make a difference and she did. I will make sure that her legacy lives on. That we continue to fight for change. Perhaps most importantly, I will fight to change the stigma of mental illness. It is a disease and it took my baby. This momma is ready to fight. No one should lose their child..whether the child is biological or adopted.

I have been talking to her dad pretty much non stop since i got the word of her passing..he is a man of strong faith and i am in awe of him. i ask for prayers of peace and understanding for her family. she also leaves behind a sister and brother. please send prayers to her exgirlfriend as well..she is understandably devastated. tonight, hug your loved ones closer that ever. tomorrow is promised to no one.

WITH GREAT LOVE COMES GREAT LOSS. LEXIE LYNN, I KNEW YOU WELL, I LOVED YOU HARD AND I WILL MISS YOU FOREVER. YOU MADE YOUR MOMMAS PROUD BABY BUNNIE. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN MY LOVE...

Christmas Break

Today is the first day of christmas break. Aka parents loose their freaking minds for the next 10 days. Sweet spongebob help me. School keeps this momma sane. Yes, i hate getting up at 6 am to get the oldest his pill and make sure he's out the door by 7 am to walk to school (don't even roll your eyes at me, its a half mile walk..he's fine) and get the little kids up by 6:45 so they can argue with me about breakfast and getting dressed so we can be at the bus stop at 7:45, but then its sweet silence until 2:45pm when the oldest gets home. See, silence is golden..especially if you have add. its crazy how good it feels on the ears. do not get me wrong..i adore my monsters. what i do not adore is having to entertain them all the time, especially the youngest one. that kid is in perpetual motion. i also do not enjoy noise and that little stinker is phenomenal at creating that. this break, i am fortunate..the hubby's workplace is on shut down and he's off to help me deal with these guys, which will probably create a whole other bunch of issues for me, but i am grateful to have him home. oh, and the second grader came home with a freaking homework packet. yip..he's got homework to do every day over break. SERIOUSLY?? i triple checked and it is in fact a packet full of work sheets that are due the day they return from break. when i was in second grade we were still trying to figure out how to use crayons.

Its also raining here today, and you know, santa can't fly in the rain. the national weather service has us under a wind advisory tonight starting at 7pm..the kids are freaking out because santa is going to have trouble stopping here to drop off the presents. it SHOULD snow at some point over night..i hope this cold front comes thru and at least drops enough white stuff on the ground to cover the mud. i know that when winter eventually hits, its going to be miserable, but come on..its almost 60 degrees here..in DECEMBER.

I'm pretty sure i won't post tomorrow, so from my family to yours, i hope that you have a very merry christmas, happy holidays or whatever you celebrate...if you don't celebrate anything, i hope you have a very happy thursday!

Free Stuff

remember when i said i might be posting about some stuff i got to try for free? well, i guess its time to do just that. I'm a member of Smiley360.com and i got to try some really yummy coffee from Nescafe for free that has the creamer already in it so i don't have to worry about the kids drinking all of the milk (it happens ALL the time and i HATE coffee without something in it).  This stuff is soo yummy. Its sweet (the hazelnut one is...omg yummy), but not too sweet and its coffee without being too coffee flavor. I forgot to mention how stinkin easy it is to just whip up a cup of sanity saving coffee without waiting for the pot to brew! you just add hot water to this stuff and its instant sanity! well, it might make monday a touch easier to deal with...maybe. So you've really gotta get out and try Nescafe with Coffee Mate in it. (i found mine at walmart)

My first ever post!

Welcome to my first ever blog post. this is going to be a completely chaotic blog about my life..i'm a stay at home mommy. i have attention deficit disorder, so does at least one of my kids..we're currently working on the diagnosis process for the littlest terror. if he doesn't have it, there needs to be a new name for the disorder! Things may not make sense to you if you don't already have add or know someone who does, but if you have it or know someone who does, this could be your new home. I might post stuff i get to try for free (i stumbled on some really cool programs..more about them sometime), recipes..who knows. life with add isn't boring and it doesn't make sense most of the time. odds are pretty good that this blog won't make much sense either. I'll do my very best to post regularly, but you never know what'll happen with 3 boys and christmas break upon us. i'll save that post for tomorrow.

Thanks for being here. the best is yet to come.